


Fairground Infraction

by DittyWrites



Series: Gotham Rogues Drabbles [14]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Companionable Snark, F/F, F/M, Fairground, Fun, Gen, day trip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-22 02:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12471480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: As part of a new policy at Arkham Asylum, the inmates find themselves allowed a supervised day out at a local theme park. What an absolutely terrible idea...





	Fairground Infraction

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little bit of fun. No real substance! Just fuckery, foolery and fun for all! xx

“Attention inmates!”

His voice strong and bordering no argument, the head of the SWAT unit designed to oversee this farcical outing stood before the small group of criminals with a straight back and no-nonsense attitude.

“This day has been organised and funded by Wayne Enterprises as part of their new endeavor to increase quality of life within Arkham Asylum and you are all expect to adhere to the following rules while attending. One: You will make no attempt to escape the premises. Every single possible exit is covered by SWAT snipers and the first hint of an attempted breakout will result in an anti-personnel stun round which is guaranteed to put you out of the game for at least a week.”

Pausing to let that sink in, he continued.

“Drones, also provided by Wayne Enterprises, are also covering the external perimeter and are equipped to carry the same style of round as our snipers. Rule Two: Every member of staff who has been kind enough to work today has been equipped with hidden panic buttons and cameras which record everything. Any attempt to harm or threaten the staff will result in an anti-personnel stun round to the heart. Are we clear?”

“I would honestly rather be back in the Asylum.”

Tapping her fingers against the arm of her orange jumpsuit, Ivy was unimpressed as both Harvey and Waylon growled out an agreement with her words.

“Aww c'mon, Red!” Harley whined at her side. “When was the last time ya even went to a theme park? Kitty, help me!”

“Yeah, _Red_.” Selina mimicked the blonde. “Stop bein' a spoilsport!”

“You heard the women, Ivy. This negativity towards our day is already ruining it for your paramour.” Edward interrupted, opinion unwanted but given.

Shaking his head in warning, Jervis muttered. “Don't fight the Red Queen, Doormouse. She'll cut off your head.”

“Great idea, Jervis!” Ivy blew him a soft kiss.

Clearing his throat, the SWAT leader again drew their attention.

“You have limited freedom to roam the park until six, at which point you will reassemble at the entrance point or you will be stunned and forcibly collected.”

Plastering a false smile onto his hardened face, he gestured openly to the park behind them.

“Have fun.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

“I think Bruce Wayne has finally lost his mind,” Edward grumbled as the park doors swung shut and were deadbolted to ensure they stayed inside, “Dent, he is an old friend of yours, what possible reason could he have for such foolishness?”

“Watch yourself, Nygma.” Harvey hissed, hands balling into fists at his side. “The pigs made no mention of inmate on inmate violence so if you want a fight-”

“Chill, Harvey.” Selina interrupted. “Edward is just ungrateful.”

“You wound me.” Holding a hand against his heart, Edward turned to Jonathan. “Surely you can see how ridiculous this whole situation is?”

“It is hardly the strangest situation we have found ourselves in.” Jonathan countered passively, his expression empty.

“Touche.”

“Hey guys!” Harleys' bubbly voice called over from the other side of the group. “Me, Red, Croc and Hatter are all gonna go this way! Ya coming?”

“We'll make our own way around, Harls!” Selina called back before the others could interrupt. “Two groups means less trouble.”

“Sure, whatever ya say!”

Waving enthusiastically, even Ivy managed a small jerk of her hand as the quartet slipped away around the corner and started their exploration of the park.

“Then I guess that makes us a team,” placing a hand on both Harvey and Jonathans' shoulders, Selina steered them towards the stalls which littered the main thoroughfare of the amusement park, “so lets go, boys.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

There was an unsettling edge to the emptiness of the park as they sauntered between the stalls. The background music with all its trumpets and bells was lacking the natural chorus of human voices which both enhanced and drowned it out and Edward narrowed his eyes.

“So what shall we treat ourselves to first?” He announced, causing a nearby staff member to squeak and disappear under her counter. “How about a rigged game of basketball? Or perhaps one of those rides which is designed to kill brain cells and cause vertigo?” A presence at his back caused him to stiffen imperceptibly.

“From your tone, I am sensing a possible hostility towards amusement parks,” Jonathan muttered in his ear, “do you have anything you wish to discuss? Poor childhood memories perhaps?”

“Not particularly, no.” Edward muttered back. “Is this your subtle way of telling me to enjoy myself?”

Snorting softly, Jonathan moved away and gestured towards the nearest stall.

A shooting gallery.

The small, human-shaped tin men were lined up perfectly and the young man who was in charge of the stall possessed an uneasy smile as the four approached him.

“W-welcome to Gotham Amusements,” he stammered out, “do any of you feel up to the ch-challenge?”

“Now that's no way to gain peoples' attention!” Huffing, Edward shook his head. “You have to project your voice to draw the eye!”

“You would be the expert, Eddie.” Selina rolled her eyes.

“I think you'll find,” Edwards' tone was clipped, “that I once worked in an amusements back when I was a young rogue. The skills and showmanship picked up from that short time have been vital in my criminal career. It's all a scam. Any fool could see that.”

“So you are claiming that this stall is rigged?” Voice light, Harvey joined the conversation.

“Listen, amateurs! Look at the tin men, they are far too heavy to be knocked down by a simple pellet from an air gun,” drawing their attention back to himself, Edward continued, “every single one of these games is rigged to ensure that the player cannot win no matter how skilled they think they are. Even the pins in the bowli-”

POP!

A clang of metal caused a flinch in Edwards' shoulders as he spun around.

Holding the airgun in a steady hand, Harvey did not even need to use the sights as he pulled the trigger with a casual ease.

POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!

Each pellet shot out with deadly accuracy and struck the small tin targets in the center of their 'head' section, forcing them downwards as Harvey worked his way down the line.

“Congratulations! Tw-Uhh Mister Dent!” The stall worker grinned despite the look of mild terror in his eyes. “You've won any prize you want.”

Edwards' scowl deepened as Dent turned to face him, a smirk twisting up his scarred lips.

“Keep the prize, kid. I don't need it.”

His smirk twisted further as he mocked Edwards' earlier words.

“Amateurs.”

“You know what, Dent? Fu-”

“Let's get drinks.” Selina quickly intercepted Edwards' words as her hand shoved gently as his shoulder to encourage him to move on.

“Drinks are acceptable,” Jonathan conceded, “lead the way.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

“Please, Red?” Batting her dark eyelashes with wide eyes, Harley rubbed her hand along Ivys' covered arm as she pleaded. “Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top!”

Standing before the log flume, surrounded by the water of the ride as it rushed on by, Ivy gave a strained smile as she gestured to the ride.

“I'm happy to stand by and watch you go on it, Harls.” Vaguely attempting to evade having to participate in this particular ride, Ivy stood her ground.

“I'll go on with you.” Jervis piped up, stepping out from behind Waylons' hulking form. “It will be fun, fun, fun.”

“I'll have a go too,” Waylon smiled a toothy grin, “been too long since I got some time in the water.”

“Waylon, baby. You do, uhh,” Ivy paused, “know that you need to stay inside the log, yeah? You can't swim in the waters.”

“I'll take what I can get.”

“C'mon, Red! Both Hatter and Croc are comin' on!” Harley placed her hands on either side on Ivy's face and winked. “Don't be a party pooper!”

Uncrossing her arms, Ivys' shoulders dropped in defeat as she gave in to the pleading.

“Okay, Harls,” she muttered, “i'll come on.”

“Luv ya!”

The metal scaffolding which led up to the log flume tapped out a flurried tune as they rushed to the first available log, Harley leading the way and pulling Ivy behind her.

“Dibs on the front,” Harley called out as she planted her ass at the forefront of the log, “and Ivy you can sit behind me!”

Not particularly bothered, Ivy took her assigned seat as Jervis sat behind her.

“Croc. you can go at the ba-”

Harleys' eyes narrowed as a problem made itself known. Croc was far too large to sit with his legs inside the small plastic log without crushing them all.

“Hmm...” Her small teeth worried at her lip for a moment before an answer presented itself. “I have it! Croc, you sit in the back and just put ya legs up on the sides,” she gestured to the sides of the log, “so that way ya can ride it without accidental rippin' ya leg off!”

“Harley, do you think that's safe? What if w-”

Ivys' words were cut off as Crocs' thick, jumpsuit-covered legs swung into her peripheral vision and settled atop the sides of the log in a way which secured them all into place.

“Off! Off! And away we go!” Jervis chirped as the log sprung into life, his tiny head barely visible to any possible onlookers.

The excess weight provided by Croc caused the log to move a tad more sluggishly than it should but the power of the mechanics was enough to overcome as they moved. The water sloshed around the sides of the log with only a few drops here and there making it over Crocs' legs to splash on the trio at the front.

A low hum of suspense came from Harley as the log slowly started to ascend up the drop zone and Ivy had to withhold a smirk at the antics.

“You okay, Jervis?” She directed over her shoulder do the smaller man whom she was doing everything in her power not not slide back and crush.

“Oh yes!” He grinned at her. “A most wonderful place indeed!”

As the log reached the peak it paused for a moment and Ivy could feel Crocs' legs tightening as he prepared to hang on tight, lest he get thrown off and injured.

With a lurch, it started its descent.

A simultaneous cry of excitement rose up from Harley and Jervis, the noise level enough to cause Ivy to cringe.

Opening her mouth to shush them, a hunk of water smacked her in the face as the log crashed into the pool below and sent a wave of water splashing over the four of them.

“GAH!” She spluttered, spitting out the water as her red hair stuck to her skin. In front of her, Harleys' hair had hardly moved from its pigtails and Ivy briefly regretted not tying her own back.

“WHEE! THAT WAS FUN, RED!” Shaking her shoulders with happiness, Harley twisted her head around. “Can we do it again?”

Eyes darting around in panic, Ivy sought out something which could be used to distract the blonde until a gravelly voice rolled out from behind her.

“This boat ain't gonna last another round with me,” Croc admitted, moving his hands to allow the others to see the sharp dents which his grip had left, “so we should get going.”

“We could try the planes?” Jervis suggested. “Up in the sky, to keep ourselves dry?”

Thankful for the change, Ivy nodded quickly.

“Sounds good to me.”

 


End file.
